[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
Lilly smiled. I know what love is, Hayden. I know what it is, because I see it every time I look at
the two of you. I m so happy for you, babe.
Hayden looked back down at the book and a smile touched her lips. You re going to have it, too,
Lil. Just wait.
Chapter Sixteen
Empty.
Nate sank down onto a white rocking chair on the front porch of the bed-and-breakfast and tipped a
bottle of Jack up, opening his throat to let the bitter liquid slide down. He lowered the bottle to his
chest and coughed. That shit burned.
He was going to regret this tomorrow. But not right now. Right now, he was going to put a fucking
lid on all the shit that had been building up inside his head for the past two days.
The chair beside him creaked, and he looked over to find Jace watching him. His brother s blue
dress shirt was untucked and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing off his ink. Nate was
guessing Hayden had gotten him into a tie at one point in the evening, but most likely Jace had ditched
it after the first half hour of feeling like he was being choked.
His brother held up a bottle of water and nodded to the Jack. Want to trade?
Nate handed him the bottle and Jace took it and set it down on the porch beside him, out of Nate s
reach.
Nate grabbed the water and scowled at it. Sorry I missed the rehearsal, he said. I just& Fuck.
I m sorry.
Damn it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and his head throbbed. Was he ever going to stop
fucking things up?
What are you doing out here getting piss-drunk on these people s front porch? Jace asked, his
brows raised in amusement. You realize there s a party going on right over there? He motioned to
the decked-out barn where music hummed from the open doors and people milled around outside
laughing.
Fuck you, Nate said. What are you doing out here? Shouldn t you be in there with your bride?
She s been hijacked. She dragged Lilly off a little while ago. Thought I d come see who was
holding you hostage.
You know I don t like crowds.
I know. Jace leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and glanced over at the bottle he d
just taken from Nate. I m guessing it was a rough trip? You look like you haven t slept in days.
Nate shook his head. You have no idea.
Rough trip? More like a complete mind fuck. Nate leaned back in the rocking chair, accepting the
dizzy, numbing sensation flowing through his veins. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the
gold chain and locket that had been their mother s, and handed it to Jace.
His brother studied the piece of jewelry with a wistful smile. Thank you for this. I know it wasn t
easy for you to go back. I probably shouldn t have asked.
It was time. Nate shrugged. Besides, I didn t have to do it alone.
Jace nodded. Speaking of& are you going to tell me what s going on with her?
How was he supposed to explain it, when he didn t even know what the hell to think? The past two
days had felt like a damn tornado, spinning him around, twisting him, until he didn t know if he was
coming or going. Everything he d thought he d needed and wanted had been turned upside down. He
scrubbed his fingers through his hair and shuddered as the memory of Lilly s nails against his scalp
pulled him back under. Fuck. He couldn t imagine never taking her again. Never making her laugh.
Never pissing her off, or making her smile. Being with her the past two days had been the single most
satisfying experience he d ever had.
And now what? He was supposed to just walk away?
I fucked up, he choked out.
Elaborate.
Damn it to hell. He d wanted to wait until after the wedding to do this. He didn t want a cloud
hanging over his brother s wedding day. But it had to be now. He couldn t risk him finding out from
someone else. Nate owed him more than that. He owed him everything.
He sucked in a deep breath and sighed. I m leaving.
Jace stopped rocking and gave him his full attention. Excuse me?
I ve been recommissioned. Paperwork came through last week. I m shipping out in two weeks.
Shit& Jace shook his head, staring at him in consternation. Where?
I don t know.
All right. Then, why?
Nate didn t even know anymore. When he d signed the papers, he d truly thought there was nothing
left for him in civilian life. All he could think about was getting his ass back in combat where he
belonged. Saving lives. Making up for the ones he d lost.
He still wanted that. Needed it. But the idea of leaving Lilly behind made him feel like he was
collapsing on the inside. Would she forgive him? Would she wait for him? He didn t deserve it, that
much he was sure of. He had so much shit to make up for with her, he didn t know where to start.
You know why, he finally said.
No. I don t. How could I, when you don t tell me anything anymore? Jace sounded pissed. Nate
didn t blame him. All I know is you still carry around a misplaced case of survivor s guilt. I know
you think you should have died out there with those other men. That you don t deserve the breath in
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]